For those of you who haven't read the first episode, and for those of you who are curious to know how it ended, here's that part with some dating advice.
Neil and Janet met at John's birthday party in the Market. He is John's best friend. She is John's sister. They are both 39. It was not the first time they met. But never before did they have the chance to spend so many hours together. At the party they chatted, they danced, and they flirted. Janet felt Neil could be the guy she was waiting for… Neil was excited about the prospects of taking Janet with him to visit his cousin in upstate New York. At 2:10 AM when most guests have left, Janet and Neil helped John clear the food from the table and get all empty bottles and glasses from the living room. They thanked John for a beautiful evening, wished him once again happy birthday, and were planning to leave, each driving back home. Neil lived in Kanata. Janet's apartment was a few blocks from John's flat.
This little anecdote has three endings. Please choose your favourite, and we will publish the most popular version.
A. Just as they were about to get out of the door Neil turned to Janet and excitedly asked her if she would like to come with him to NY the following weekend. Surprised and confused Janet instinctively said she was busy on Saturday, but inquired about Neil's plans for NY. He said his cousin Max has invited him to spend a few days at his chalet and that there would be about 10-15 people staying at his chalet on that weekend. Neil repeatedly said that Janet would have great time if she joined the gang since his cousin Max was very generous and his guests were always very interesting. Before parting ways they briefly hugged and Neil said to Janet that she could change her mind and let him know by Thursday.
B. Janet and Neil walked out to their cars in the street, and were exchanging impressions from the party. After a few minutes Neil said he had to get up early the next morning. Janet then quickly said that she had a great time at the party. Neil said he enjoyed the evening too, especially dancing with her which was great fun. They said good night to each other and went each to their cars. The next morning Janet called her brother John and told him she had great time at the party, and that she really liked Neil. She asked her brother to find out from Neil if he was equally interested in her.
C. As they were saying their goodbyes to John, Janet asked Neil where his car was. He said he parked it two blocks down the street. Janet, whose car was parked at her brother's driveway, offered to drive Neil to his car, and as Neil got in, she told him how much she enjoyed the party. They chatted for a few minutes and as they got to Neil's car Janet reached for her purse and took out one of her business cards, then gave it to Neil and said that it would be great to hear from him sometime. Neil took the card, smiling, said he enjoyed Janet's company, and that he would give her a call the following week, and got out of the car.
Dating Coach Irene comments
- I got exactly the same number of replies from men and women, which clearly shows that the interest in dating guidance is shared by both genders.
- The biggest group to respond to "Situations" was women 35-45. Second were men 35-45 and men 45-55 (equal number of replies from both these groups).
- The groups that didn't choose option A were: men under 25 (mostly B), men over 55 (mostly C), and women over 55 (B and C even).
Here are some hints and dating advice for each option:
Option A catches Janet by surprise. She likes the fact that Neil wants to introduce her to his cousin and friends, and the expected fun time appeals to her, but she is not sure if she could have her own room at the chalet, and feels it would be too soon for her to spend the nights together. This is why her immediate reaction is negative. Guys, if you were in Neil's place you should know better: you don't offer a girl you just met to go somewhere where a night stay is included, unless there are arrangements for separate rooms. Sleeping together should be saved to a later stage in dating. Wrong move, Neil. Great response, Janet.
Nevertheless, the majority of you did select this option, so today's story will continue from there.
Option B suggests a very reasonable continuation, where two people like each other but none makes a move to secure the next date. In the case of Neil and Janet it was easy since they could (and indeed planned to) rely on John to bring them together again. One thing is important to note in Neil's behaviour, and guys, you should learn from him! He took initiative to end the evening, thus showing leadership. It's too bad he didn't accompany Janet to her car, but perhaps their cars were parked one near the other. Men under 25 – good for you! Some of you chose the right option here :)
Option C sees Janet as the one with the initiative. She offers to give Neil a short ride to his car, and then hands him her card so he can call her. Not a clever move, Janet, unless you want to become the pursuer when dating Neil. One thing about women who make the first move – they can never be sure whether the man just responded or really had interest in them. Better, girls, let the guys court you. Let them take initiative and show you they are interested in you!
Because Dating Trends have changed so dramatically in the last 5-10 years, people dating today face a lot more difficulties than ever before. But the good news is all dating skills are 100% learnable, and instead of avoiding dating, you can get some important information and cools tools that will put you in the front seat again!
Dating Situations will help you be aware of what can be expected of you. That alone will increase your self confidence. Self confidence is one of the most sought after qualities in a mate! To learn more dating secrets and increase your attraction potential join one of the dating seminars or dating workshops Irene offers.
Email to find out more: Irene@TheSingleOption.com