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There was a collective scratching of heads Monday after Alanis Morissette, 36, announced she had tied the knot with "my man Souleye," 30-year-old rapper Mario Treadway, who has nowhere near her level of fame and fortune.

Hollywood is a microcosm of society, though, and it has demonstrated a power shift in relationships: the growing number of partnerships between high-achieving women and lower-achieving men.

The success of any relationship depends on the couple, said Dr. Alison Lee, vice-president of the Ottawa Couple and Family Institute.

"It depends on their bond, how they trust each other and each partners' self-esteem," she said.

"From the outside, it's hard to say what people bring to their marriages."

Take Julia Roberts, who has been in relationships with Liam Neeson, Dylan McDermott, Kiefer Sutherland, Lyle Lovett, Matthew Perry, and Benjamin Bratt. She broke off engagements to McDermott and Sutherland and a marriage to Lovett lasted less than two years. Roberts married cameraman Daniel Moder in 2002. The couple, apparently still happy, has three children.

High-achieving women find the pool of men with similar qualifications can be very small. Inequitable relationships are often quick to crumble. Meanwhile, the husbands of high-earning women often find themselves the target of ridicule.

Britney Spears reportedly paid for her own five-carat engagement ring when she married Kevin Federline or "K-Fed," a pizza delivery man and dancer. He was demoted to "Fed-Ex" when the couple filed for divorce a month after the birth of their second child.

Jennifer Lopez was in short-lived marriages with Cuban-born waiter Ojani Noa and back-up dancer Cris Judd before entering into equally short-lived relationships with Sean Combs and Ben Affleck.

Sandra Bullock dated high-profile stars Matthew McConaughey and Ryan Gosling before she met former bodyguard and Monster Garage host Jesse James in 2003. The marriage unravelled earlier this year on revelations of James' multiple indiscretions.

Being married to a superstar can put pressure on the male ego. The same is true of ordinary relationships in which the wife earns more than the husband, said relationship coach Terry Rattray.

"From a man's perspective, it's a real kick in the gonads."

Rattray sees a day 40 or 50 years from now when the powerful woman-less powerful man pairing will be accepted, but not yet. Meanwhile, Hollywood relationships show how these relationships are evolving.

For an inequitable relationship to work, the couple has to ignore the expectations of friends, family and society that the husband be older, richer and more powerful than his wife, Rattray said.

"It takes real courage to make their choices and live their lives free of other people's expectations. A couple who can break free of social norms is certainly a beautiful thing. We should be encouraging it in our society."

Ottawa dating coach Irene Yarkoni says there is often more value to an inequitable relationship to the couple than what other people see. In the Morissette-Treadway match, it may be that both the bride and the groom are comfortable with themselves and value more than fame and money.

"Just because he's not famous, he may still be a person of quality. It may work for her," Yarkoni said.

She points to the seven-year relationship between Demi Moore, 47, and Ashton Kutcher, 32. Moore was more famous than Kutcher when they met, and Moore's entertainment savvy probably helped Kutcher in the entertainment business.

There are usually inherent insecurities in relationships where the woman is more rich and powerful. His ego is bruised and she suspects his motivations. If these matches are to survive, a successful woman has to play up her femininity, Yarkoni said.

Inequities matter less to people in their 20s and 30s than older couples, she finds. Older successful women are less willing to compromise their standard of living by marrying a lower-status man, even if that standard is not endangered by marrying a man who makes less money.

"The issue is of femininity and masculinity," Yarkoni said. "A woman who is strong and wise does not let go of her femininity. If she's clever, she'll help him make himself successful to give the relationship stability."

Meanwhile, Rattray said power couples have their own problems.

He points to perpetual predictions that the high-octane partnership of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will go up in flames.

"The real pressure is when you have two people who can't spend any quality time with each other. They can't sustain a relationship."

© Copyright (c) The Ottawa Citizen

How to drop the B-bomb with fewer casualties

Opinions are split over whether women should go with a pre-emptive strike or a softer approach to tell guys they're taken

JOSH WINGROVE
Globe and Mail
October 30, 2008

Christine Hart calls it the B-bomb, and you don't ever want to set it off.
The fuse is often set when a young, single male meets a young, single female for the first time. Unless he's a real charmer and she's on the market - a rare luxury of fate - the B-bomb is eventually triggered: "I have a boyfriend."The blast area is pretty big, and there's usually cleanup to be done.
If a woman drops it too soon, guys feel jilted ("why you gotta assume?") or confused ("I didn't ... even ... what?"). Too late, and they feel led on.
So what's the best way to say it, and when?
"It's a tough call," admits Ms. Hart, founder of Calgary-based Your Date Coach.
In bars, an upfront approach is better, she says, even if it means forgoing that free drink. In a quieter setting, women are better advised to slip it casually into conversation. Either way, Ms. Hart says, let a guy know so he doesn't get the wrong idea.
Many B-bombardiers prefer the pre-emptive strike. "If the girl does it from the get-go, the guys don't get offended as much," says Olga Coman, 27, a fan of the "clean cut" approach.
But not all dating experts agree. Some say coming clean right away takes the fun out of harmless flirting.
"No, no, because that's assuming his intentions," Ms. Hart says. "There are so many innocent adult conversations that happen all the time. It doesn't mean he's trying to pick you up."
So maybe it is best to wait a bit, and then drop it in? The risk with delaying the B-bomb is offending your boyfriend. That's the case with Leah, a gregarious twentysomething. "People shouldn't be penalized for being friendly," she argues. "You don't want to jump to any conclusions."
But her boyfriend sees it differently. "She doesn't take it as, 'Guys are hitting on me,' " laments James, who is also in his 20s. (The couple asked that their last names not be published.) "Women-speak: 'friendly'; men-speak: 'lead-on', 'tease.' "
It's a tough subject, but young people appear the most concerned by it. Irene Yarkoni, an old-school Ottawa dating coach, doesn't get the fuss.
"The whole article is about that?" asks Ms. Yarkoni, founder of CanadianSingles.com, who works with an older crowd. To her, flirting is simple, and the onus is on men: Either be a "hound dog" or relax.
"He has to make it clear that he is interested," Ms. Yarkoni says. "It's maybe risking rejection, but there's no other way. Nothing has changed."
Jen McNeely, 29, of the Toronto women's blog SheDoesTheCity.com, says it's typically younger women who avoid mentioning their boyfriend when having a lengthy chat with another guy. They often enjoy basking in a man's attention and don't care that they're sending mixed messages, Ms. McNeely says.
"There's nothing more irritating than when you have a close guy friend, and you want to hook him up with somebody, and he's talking to some girl who you know has a boyfriend," she says. "That's just not nice behaviour. It's self-centred."
Ms. McNeely suggests making a passing reference after a while (Example: "Camping? My boyfriend and I love camping!"), but not waiting too long. Even Ms. Nabok, the fan of the pre-emptive strike, admits a soft approach is sometimes more agreeable.
"You can do that if you want to be sneaky," she says. "You don't want to, like, drop the bomb."
But both Ms. Hart and the old-school Ms. Yarkoni agree: Men and women need to send clear signals - no or go - and realize that body language, flirting and a long conversation will only force the awkward line to be played eventually.
Ms. Yarkoni's advice to guys: "Ask her. If she says she has a boyfriend, fine. The reason dating is so awkward nowadays is, people don't actually express what they want."

See the story here

 

Nepean This Week      Friday, October 27, 2006

Diving into the dating pool can be a fun plunge

DEVON BABIN
NTW Staff

In the final installment in the dating series, NTW reporter Devon Babin looks at the different options people have to meet others in a controlled environment

Meeting others online isn’t for everyone.  Some people are not comfortable with the Internet itself, while others simply prefer meeting people in person to eliminate any of the guess work. For those who fall under the latter category, there are a lot of options out there. Over the past few years a lot of companies have started up with the focus of getting singles together.  “Because there are so many single people, there is a natural demand for services catering to this population,” said Irene Yarkoni, owner of The Single Option.  

Her company specializes in what is called “spin dating”.  Along with her coaching on dating skills, Yarkoni brings singles together in unique manor. “I offer a combined package that introduces people to each other in two ways, spin dating and personal introductions. But at the same time I offer coaching along the dating process. Most of the time, people start dating and make simple mistakes that sabotage their efforts. What I do is guide them through each of the initial dating stages,” said Yarkoni.

The spin dating portion of the process involves a person, man or woman, meeting eight members of the opposite gender in one evening in a controlled environment. Each person gets to meet the others for eight minutes at a time. At the end of the session, each individual confidentially selects those they would like to meet again. The next day, each person is given the information of which of the people they met the night before would want to meet them. There are a lot of variants on this type of dating, which is sometimes called speed dating.

This type of service can be helpful because according to Yarkoni, dating isn’t easy. “Dating today is difficult even for those who have been dating for a while,” she said. “Those who were married for a long time and are getting back into the dating scene find it even harder because 10 to 20 years ago, genders were defined more conservatively. I think in today’s dating world, singles need to know how things have changed so they are more ready for the new dating patterns.”

There has never been a better time for people who are looking to get back into the dating world.
For those who need a little coaching and some structure, there are plenty of options, and for those looking to feel it out for themselves, you’re not alone and there are plenty of services available.

* Le Droit, Ottawa-Gatineau, Lundi 16 Mai 2005 *

 

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The Ottawa Citizen, Style Weekly
Saturday, December 27th 2003

THE DATING COACH

Yarkoni's main message is the Boy Scout mantra: Be prepared

By Jennifer Campbell

She cheers, she counsels, she puts them through drills. Irene Yarkoni is the Jacques Martin of Ottawa's dating scene. She spends her days teaching singles how to, well, score.

A self-professed dating coach, she uses her observations to deconstruct the art of eventual intimacy. She breaks it into charts, flash cards and seminars on everything from body language to "effective dating".

Yarkoni embarked on a second career eight years ago when she founded The Single Option, a speed-dating service that continues today. Here, in dating's fast lane, clients take in the singles' equivalent of the Molson Indy. In less time than it takes to get across town in rush hour, each suitor has eight mini-dates with eight people.

While watching these encounters, Yarkoni has gained a wealth of knowledge about the fine art of getting asked out. And now, in addition to writing a book, she's branding herself as Ottawa's dating doc. She holds one-on-one sessions and has a website (www.singletrends.com) where singles can go for advice.

So, Style asked the coach, what's the number one mistake people make when they're on the make? Turns out, they don't figure out what they want from the opposite sex. Singles spend time and money considering academic ambitions and professional priorities but spend little time, and less money, determining what they're looking for when it comes to romance. They think love will take care of itself. Yarkoni is there to tell them that just ain't so.

BODY LANGUAGE Dos and Don'ts from Irene Yarkoni Dos * Use open posture and gestures: Turn your body toward the person you're chatting with, relax your palms, look them in the eye and smile frequently. * Watch the other person's body language to get clues on how they feel. * Wait to see someone's open body position before you ask them on a date. * Take the adjacent seat at a table to encourage openness and closeness. * Lean forward to show you're interested. * Nod frequently - it's a sign of approval. * Smile, even if it's an effort. You'll realize that not only you become more accessible to others, but you also like yourself more. Don'ts *Don't stand too close to a person. Keep a distance of 1-1.5 meters between yourself and a stranger. Anymore than that, though, will tell them you're not interested. * Don't cross your arms or legs - this indicates you're tense or not interested. * Don't grip or pinch yourself, or play nervously with your car keys. Don't fidget with pens or cutlery or tap the counter. * Don't avoid eye contact. This is the most important signal. If you can't look straight into someone's eyes, pick another spot on their face. *But don't stare either. Eye contact that lingers, without chat, may be interpreted as a show of superiority, or a desire to threaten or manipulate. At best, it's brazen. * Don't make your mobile phone obvious. If you must carry one, turn the ringer off and keep it out of sight.

Earlier this month, in time for New Year's Eve, she held a three-hour seminar on turning parties into dates. The coach told a small group of singles, each of whom paid $29 to attend, how to wow fellow martini-sippers and canapé-noshers this party season. The seminar included eats and a drill session where the six women and three men could put some of her suggestions into practice.

The singles themselves identified their problem areas: How to establish eye contact, how to approach a stranger, and how to seal the deal establishing the contract. They also asked her to address the dicey subject of a conversation, if say, you're cornered by someone who insists the antennae on the U.S. Embassy is emitting low-frequency waves to pacify the population.

Yarkoni's main message was the Boy Scout mantra: Be prepared. Once you're prepared you can afford to be brave.

To be an effective dater, invest in your image. Beyond making sure your clothes are flattering, your hair stylish, and your complexion fresh, examine how you carry yourself. Good posture is key. Walking around like an advanced osteoporosis patient (assuming you're not) won't impress. Keep an eye on what you do with your limbs when you're not using them. Crossing your arms, for example, indicates you're closed off.

"Open body language reveals to the other person you're relaxed, secure, and interested in making closer contact," Yarkoni said.

With open body language, you're more approachable, she said. But if singles aren't approaching you at a party, be brave and go on the offensive. Start a conversation with something light and then engage them. Ask questions. Listen to what they're saying.

When you end a conversation with a good prospect, leave an impression. Smile, tell them it was nice meeting them, or tell a joke but make it a good one or they'll remember you for the wrong reason. You don't want them thinking: "Oh - he's the one who told the groaner clown joke."

Overcoming shyness goes back to the first point she made: Figure out what you want and set mini-goals. It sounds a bit Dr. Phil, but tell yourself you're going to speak to five strangers tonight. Then go to the party and do it. At the next party escalate your goals: Ask someone out. If they say no, don't lose your confidence. Not everyone's going to like you, and you can't take that personally.

And what about that sticky question about ending the conversation? It seems you must keep it simple. Don't give any indications you're interested and then bow out carefully. When in doubt, head to the washroom, or better, the bar. It is, after all, New Year's Eve.

Jennifer Campbell is an Ottawa writer.

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Montreal Gazette, Life section
Saturday, December 20th, 2003

DON'T JUST SAY "HI", TURN A HOLIDAY ENCOUNTER INTO A DATE

Turn off the TV and get out there - for Pete's sake, don't slouch

Monique Polak
Special to the Gazette

You won't meet the man - or woman - of your dreams if you're sprawled on the couch watching re-runs of Sex and the City.

'Tis the season to party, so dust off your dancing shoes and get out there.

But, says Ottawa-based dating coach Irene Yarkoni, attending parties isn't enough. Singles looking to hook up with someone special need tools for turning casual encounters into dates.

Prepare yourself. Go for a hair-cut, put on some new lipstick. More important, make sure you feel good about yourself. Focus on your positive qualities. "If you're in a negative mood, who'll want to meet you?" Yarkoni says.

Consider your body language once you're at the party. Slouching or standing with your arms crossed are no-no's. "Keep your wine glass at chest level, not covering your mouth. This shows you're open to conversation".

Identify someone you like. This usually takes about 20 seconds. If your eyes lock with someone else's and you look away, you've missed an opportunity to connect. The right thing to do? Why, smile of course.

Start a conversation. For most people, this is the hardest part. Don't just say "hi". Ask a question. Better still, pay a compliment.

Keep talking. Now's the time to move from general to more personal topics. "You have to get personal if you're aiming for a personal connection", Yarkoni said. Avoid what she calls taboo subjects: religion, politics, death and sex. This also isn't the time for bragging or venting about your ex.

End the conversation. It's a party, so you can't monopolize someone all night. Give them a chance to mingle. But before you part ways, say "I really enjoyed talking to you". Watch for the other person's reaction. If they make eye contact or smile, chances are they might be interested in you, too. Suggest getting together to continue your conversation, or ask for their phone number.

Leave a lasting impression. There's no one way to do this, Yarkoni says. Be funny or charming or just plain nice. "There's nothing wrong with flirting. It's a way of creating personal communication", Yarkoni said.

To learn more about Irene Yarkoni's work,
visit her Web Site at www.canadiansingles.com

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The Ottawa Citizen, Careers section,
Saturday, July 20th, 2002

Entrepreneurial Spirit / Successful Small Business

THE SINGLE OPTION

Irene Yarkoni puts a new spin on matchmaking.

Iris Winston reports

The dating game was often tough for shy people to play even when the rules were clear. As rules and expectations change, it gets tougher.

These days, if Jack is interested in Jill, he is more likely to give her his telephone number and hope that she will call him than simply ask her out.

And Tom is unsure if Mary will be insulted if he picks up the restaurant tab or consider him stingy if he does not.

In some ways, when parents and chaperons set up the meetings for their sons and daughters. It was even more practical to deal with a formal matchmaker in the fashion of the hit musical, Fiddler on the Roof. (Remember a trio of marriageable women singing "Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match"?)

And now it seems that a modernized yenta (matchmaker) is back in fashion as dating services become more popular.

The Single Option was set up to provide an avenue for singles seeking partners to meet and take the stress and uncertainty out of dating. But, emphasizes founder Irene Yarkoni, the seven-year-old company is not a traditional dating service. Rather, she sees it as part education, part socializing and adapts programs to suit current trends and needs.

Beginning with a weekly discussion group in 1995, she soon added guest speakers and a series of special events.

"The idea was to organize events for singles where they would not feel the stress of meeting and dating," says Ms Yarkoni, who emigrated to Canada from Kenya with her son in 1995, after her husband died. "When the focus is on learning about something else, people are less stressed than if they just go to meet each other. There's a great need for people to educate themselves before jumping into relationships."

Starting small without a major capital investment in "small business that relied on myself only" was also less stressful for her, she adds, as well as being a marked contrast to managing 1,600 employees, as she had in Kenya.

Offering venues where singles could meet proved popular but "it was sometimes hard for people to overcome their fears and ask for a date or a telephone number. I would often get calls after a dinner event or a workshop asking for a contact number of someone they met," Ms. Yarkoni says. "Apart from being a lot of work for me, that missed the point of them communication directly."

Therefore she decided to take The Single Option in a new direction. After reading about "speed dating" during a trip to Israel, she decided to adopt the principle of mini dates to create the opportunity to meet several people in a short time in a non-threatening environment.

Calling her version Spin-dating, she pre-screens groups of 16 to 20 people, matched for age, education and interests, and brings them together for two hours.

"I knew that people would like the idea," she says, pointing out that the modest cost of $24.50 adds to the comfort level. "They know they are in a safe environment and they like having me there."

Following a general introduction ("the only time when people might feel awkward") women are seated at tables around the edge of the room while men "spin" from table to table at 10 minutes intervals.

"They are not allowed to ask for phone numbers or last names. At the end, they give me a sheet with the names of any people they are interested in", she says. Then I check the matches afterwards and put them in touch. There's an average of 70% of people who choose and are chosen by the same person."

The track record for the business, which now has some 3,000 names on its data base, and for individuals finding long-term partners is good, she adds. "Although people don't always get back to me with the good news, I know that there have been at least three marriages and many lasting relationships so far."

Currently, The Single Option runs an average of two spin-dating sessions a week. "The hardest part is to make sure that people coming back for a second spin don't meet a second time, but it's not usually a problem as new people sign up all the time." She also runs higher priced "personalized spins" for individual clients not comfortable in the group setting.

The company still runs a number of special events. For example, as well as sessions such as golf or dance workshops, relationship education is still high on the agenda. On July 24, for instance, Ms. Yarkoni hosts a one day conference on new approaches to dating.

"I'm very much gearing special events to educating people. I'm a very practical person," she says. So I am always looking for ways to help people to re-evaluate and give them tips and tolls on what to do."

This, she adds, is how the dating coach section of her business developed. During one-hour consultations with clients, she suggests ways that they can improve their dating and relationship skills. "I also redirect people when necessary. I'm not a psychologist or a lawyer. I'm a business-woman. And it's not good business to advise someone to start a relationship if they're not ready. You have to love yourself before you're ready."

The Single Option is at Suite 447, 1568 Merivale Road. The telephone number is 596-6533, the fax number is 226-6913, and the email addresses are Spin@CanadianSingles.com or Irene@CanadianSingles.com.

The singles conference, registration fee is $15, and is on Wednesday, July 24
At Nepean Sailing Club, Dick Bell Park, on Carling Avenue.
Please call in advance for reservations

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Sunday, October 7, 2001

SPIN DATING

Don't look now, lovelorn singles, here it comes ...

By Denis Armstrong,
Ottawa Sun

ROMANCE isn't just for the young.

But how do you meet your soulmate when you're living on Palm Pilots, breakfast meetings and mutual funds?

Irene Yarkoni is a romantic entrepreneur who has come to the aid of lovelorn singles.

Spin Dating, a new non-denominational dating service, is setting up singles aged 20-70. The concept was devised by a rabbi a couple of years ago for single Jews interested in meeting other single Jews.

He configured women in a circle with a corresponding number of men.

If the process works, it's because it's designed to be safe and sincere. Spins are held in neutral environments such as a parish hall or community centre. Every participant is screened to ensure they are, indeed, single.

"Instead of meeting one person for two hours, you meet eight prospective matches in two hours," says Yarkoni. "It's very focused, you don't waste time."

That might not sound like a lot of time until you realize you can tell if there is chemistry in less than a minute.

The spin is meant merely as an introductory service. The romance begins afterwards, when dates to talk further are made.

With a database of 2,500 singles categorized by age, Yarkoni holds up to four spins a month, with as many as 10 potential couples attending.

"If you meet someone you are attracted to on the street or in a coffee shop, you are embarrassed to approach them. This is a missed opportunity for romance," she explains. "The spin matches people, so there are no missed opportunities."

LOTS OF VARIETY

In the spirit of 'missing no opportunities,' I volunteered for my first spin.

It's a balmy Indian Summer night and I am riding to the Sandy Hill Community Centre, where 10 women are waiting to give me and nine other guys the once over.

Seated at desks which circle the perimeter of the room, colourful cloths hang from the institutional-issue desks as if to remind all that what we are bartering on these surfaces will be several dozen hearts.

They come in all shapes and sizes. There is a stunning Russian with gray eyes and a curious nature; the woman with the census-form list of questions so long we got halfway through before time was up; the athletic francophone woman with gourmet tastes; the cute red-headed property manager who couldn't stop smiling at me; the MBA who wouldn't smile at all and left me feeling like I was interviewing for a job; the army brat who laughed at every joke I could think of and the tall divorcee who scolded me for being commitment-phobic.

Nervous and reluctant, I force the questions like a game show host -- whoever asks the most questions wins. She looks at me in horror, expressing a preference for men who aren't "control freaks."

Learning the ropes the hard way, I relax, introduce myself, talk casually, listen patiently and laugh easily.

Once I got the hang of it, the nerves calmed and the spin turned out to be slightly addictive.

These micro tete-a-tetes were exhaustive fun. A couple of times it felt like being on trial defending your life, but because the people are matched by age, the experience was a pleasant sense of cheery camaraderie.

TALK, TALK...

The first spin costs $50. Subsequent spins are half that, but be sure to bring throat lozenges if you enjoy talking. This is two hours of intensive relating, which requires stamina and charm.

While I did not make a match, I could have and perhaps should have.

Two women did indicate some interest.

That is about the average, according to Yarkoni.

And I bet I know who they are.

For more information on Spin Dating, visit the website at www.canadiansingles.com or call 596-6533.

IRENE YARKONI is the matchmaker behind Spin Dating in Ottawa. The business offers singles a unique and safe way of meeting several other eligible people interested in dating.

 

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The Ottawa Citizen, October 12th 1997

SINGLES NEED HELP SORTING NEW ROLES,
CLUB OWNER SAYS

Convention to offer weekend of self-help seminars, social events

By Graham Hughes
The Ottawa Citizen

Singles looking for mates today are confused by the increasingly mixed roles men and women play, says Irene Yarkoni, owner of The Single Option, a social club that promotes large-scale activities for singles.

The women's liberation movement has given women the power to act in a manner once reserved for men. Similarly, Ms. Yarkoni says, New Age philosophies have made it fashionable for men to be sensitive and express their feelings.

"So," she asks, "is it any wonder a single man hesitates to approach a woman he likes, or wonders whether he should let her act?" And, Ms Yarkoni continues, "is it any wonder that more and more women do take the initiative without feeling any less feminine, but rather, entrepreneurial?"

The Single Option will stage a two-day singles convention in Ottawa on Friday and Saturday.

Men, today, have become shy, Ms. Yarkoni says, while women are bolder, but "new rules as to what each has to do are not yet established and practiced." Men who are not shy may turn women off, she says, because they appear aggressive and insensitive, while a woman without initiative may be perceived by a man as having no interest in him.

"The problem lies in deciphering behavioural codes. Do I know what she really means? Does he understand my gestures?" To overcome the uncertainty, Ms. Yarkoni says, men and women "must become more aware of who they are, and feel more secure with their own personalities".

The seminars will help break the ice, Ms. Yarkoni says, while giving participants some insight, so that when they get together for the wrap-up dinner and dance, they will not be in the shy stage that characterizes firt-time meetings.

Seminar speakers include image consultant Lynne Mackay, who will discuss first impressions and how to improve them through the selection of clothes and colours.

Jack Fault, a True Colours and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, uses a quick quiz to help participants identify temperament, and then discuss how various temperaments interact and influence mating styles.

Betska K-Burr, an inspirational speaker, trainer, performance coach and author, will help participants learn to use their "inner power" to help them be happier while single. Those ready to meet a partner will learn how to prepare for a long term relationship.

A Saturday-morning stroll in the Gatineau Park is also scheduled so conventioneers can mingle and chat.

Events are individually priced, although all but Saturday's seminar can be attended for a package price of $60. The seminar is an additional $39.95. For information call 596-6533.

Oh, yes. For those who find Mr. or Ms. Right during the two days, Sunday has been left free.

Convention held at The Chateau Laurier, Ottawa.